I made an Aoba cake for my wife’s birthday.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO REMOVE MY ROLLER SKATES EVERYTHING IS VERY FAST AND I AM VERY AFRAID
NOW YOU FUCKED UP!
It’s a cute little thing though.
i’m really good at making plans and then not wanting to do them when the time comes
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
the fact that some people on this site are sexually aroused by benevolent cucumberpatch is proof that someone will find you attractive no matter how ugly you may be. there is always hope
"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"
mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something
my dad has literally called me by his own name.
my mother has called me our cats name who has been dead for five years
This week on Tumblr:
It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.